Guard Your Vibe in the Spa Room

Our work is so deeply energetic. You ever feel uplifted and energized by clients?

Or drained and down by others?

That’s because in the intimate spaces, with our hands on people as they relax + transform - there’s an energy release + exchange.

It’s important as empathetic service providers that we work to hold space for our clients, not hold their emotions/energy for them.

Here are my tips for keeping your peace in the spa room.

1. When you feel triggered by someone’s energy, hold your middle finger + thumb together and take a deep breath - this is a closed loop of your energy and it declares that you’re not giving away your energy or taking anyone else’s on.

2. Wash your hands before and after your service (obviously for sanitation purposes!) but also to symbolize releasing ties and the energetic connection between you and the client.

3. Manage your mindset + intention - although we come into our industry deeply craving to care for others with our creative + compassionate spirit, we aren’t here to “fix” anyone or anything - we can only guide them to do the work themselves - we have to let them feel + experience what they will

   • My favorite “prayer” or mantra before beginning is “Let this service be exactly what this person needs in their life.” Because even if it is below their expectations and they have a terrible time - maybe they finally decide that they need to go to therapy because a facial didn’t fix all their problems like they deep-down had hoped it would

4. We can’t be everything for everybody - but we can guide our clients to the best of our abilities while they are in the space with us. And we are human. And so are they. Give yourselves and them some grace. We are whole people, guiding other people to express their light as best as they can.

If you’d like to dive into this a little more, watch my YouTube video on the subject!

How To Guard Your Vibe in the Spa Room

This whole post and video were inspired by the members of “The Empathetic Esthetician” facebook group where we discuss serving in our industry on a soul-level.

A spa room with white walls, white linens on the spa bed and sunshine through the window. There are pink accents to the room in the rug and the floral decor. The image text reads “Keep your peace in the spa room. How to guard your vibe.”

Stop Shaming your clients into waxing services

I’m so fired up about this topic. It will probably ruffle some feathers.

Stop shaming your clients into receiving waxing services.

Stop using shame as a marketing technique. It is so low-vibe.

Brene Brown says

“Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging.”

So many memes or waxing advertisements are floating around the internet where people imply that body hair means you are unworthy of a relationship, physical (sexual) contact, or that you are unclean and therefore undesirable.

“Don’t be a wookie, wax your cookie!”

“I love how prickly your legs feel!” - Said no one ever!

“Fact: Body Hair won’t keep you warm - Book your wax today!”

• This is bullshit.

  I have had clients come in and apologize for their leg hair - before a waxing service - I had to reassure her that she was only responding to a ridiculous society norm and I was not bothered in the least by her hair, I was just honored that she came to me for her service to do whatever she pleased with her hair.

So frequently body hair is seen as a flaw when in fact it is a sign of health and vitality of the body. And don’t even try to play the “unhygienic” card - hair can help protect the skin by wicking away moisture and reducing the growth of bacteria, candida and other skin irritants.

Plus, impossible beauty norms contribute to anxiety, depression and a whole lot of self-loathing, and I for sure will not be perpetuating that nonsense in my advertising.

Let’s not forget, fellow esthis, that in order to be waxed we must have a period of hair growth where sometimes there are sensations of “prickliness” or things that are less than the hairless, feminine ideal. As they wait until their next appointment, they think of you and your words of negativity around body hair - awesome, they just had their heart sink to their stomach because in order to wax they must endure shame.

Yeah I’m not about that life.

And you know brow waxing isn’t free of shaming either - all of this talk about making “brow contact” before eye contact or “I’m not listening I’m just doing your brows in my head” is sharing with your network, your client base, that instead of peering into the windows of their soul or actually listening to things that matter to them, you are instead intricately judging the follicles that grow from their forehead.

I have actually had people walk up to me and shield their eyebrows from my view because they thought I would judge them while talking because of something else another brow artist had shared. It was a sad moment.

I’m not saying that waxing services in and of themselves are bad, especially with a mindset of Empathy, since there are plenty of reasons why someone would want to get waxed!

• Comfort (I don’t like it when my leg hair tickles me from blowing in the wind)

• Style (It’s a preference!)

• Vacation prep and their chosen style

• You can swim faster (or so they say) with less hair

• Someone might have an affinity for hairless cats so they want to be hairless, too.

My darlings, talk about the benefits of the service without bringing shame into the picture, please!

I know that I provide and profit from a service in society and industry that makes millions off of people’s insecurities, but I will not play to that energy.

I pray that every one of my clients comes to me because I will help them express their deepest love and happiness for their bodies and themselves in whatever way they see fit - and I am not to judge or to cause shame in order to get them in my door. No thank you.

I shall use messages of visual joy, love and celebration when sharing my services. And I implore you to do the same.

Empathetic Beauty Unfolding

Empathetic Beauty isn’t new, and it isn’t “mine.”

I am a witness to it’s unfolding, I am here to celebrate it and breathe life into this movement - my intentions are to highlight the beautiful love and share techniques that will allow it to flourish.

Empathetic Beauty is meeting someone where they are, loving them there, and helping them get to where they want to go - particularly in the beauty industry.

Here are some day-to-day examples of Empathetic Beauty in action:

Empathetic Beauty is a thorough consultation where you know the history of their skin, the products that they use at home, listen to their skin goals and their budget, understand their concerns and their desires - and the professional delivers a beautiful service, exceeding the expectations. Many of us do this already, Brava!

Empathetic Beauty is a makeup trial where the Bride knows that she wants to wear professional makeup but is afraid of looking too unlike herself - so her makeup artist delivers a light and airy look that enhances her natural features without feeling like she needs to impress other makeup artists on instagram with a cut-crease - and both the bridal client is delighted for having her wishes met and the artist is delighted that she delivered exactly what her client wanted, because that is her main goal.

Empathetic Beauty is the hair stylist that still gives waterfall bangs to Leslie, her client of 20 years - because even after Les'lie’s husband died, she can’t bear to change too much else about her life just yet - and her stylist knows that when Leslie looks in the mirror she will find comfort in her reflection, even if the stylist won’t be posting any before or afters on her facebook feed.

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The Empathetic Beauty professional is attentive, kind, artistic, and aware of the impact they have in each and every piece of their service. The focus of integrity is on the relationship with the client and not as much on the clout of the professional within the beauty industry, or needing applause from peers.

Do you feel like you are an Empathetic Beauty Professional? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this subject - I am especially interested in hearing your experiences and the ways in which you live-out Empathetic Beauty in your professional practice.

I wasn't going to offer facials.

I wasn't going to offer facials. 😑

And if you know me, if you've had my facials, you KNOW that would have been a travesty.

Being in that space and time creating peace and transformation in the skin and soul - it is a part of my lifeblood. (I enjoy it almost as much as my clients do!)

-- But most facial skin care lines are an enormous, gut-wrenching investment.

I had a lump in my throat when I looked at the start up costs for bringing in a well-known skin care line - they wanted me to invest a few thousand just for what would sit on my shelves to sell, let alone what I'd be using in the treatment room.

I had already taken such big risks and leaps leaving my hourly job, I knew independence was what I wanted

so I figured I'd start with waxing and makeup services and trust that the answers would come.

Then it was like a little corner of my internet world tapped me on the shoulder

I BARELY knew anything about this company - I just saw they had crisp, classy marketing and the girls I saw looked like they were having fun - so I decided $169 to get my hands on the kit would be less risky than the theoretical thousands.

The cleanser was so aromatic and balancing, the mask had such a lovely texture, the face oil was heavenly, the moisturizer simple and supple - I thought OH MY GOSH I CAN WORK WITH THIS 🙌

With a direct sales company, I don't need to stock my shelves or apply for sales tax licenses- my partnership allows me to have HQ do all the hard work. My guests get to experience the beautiful products in a service and I help them place their order - and in a few days their custom routine arrives at their home and I get paid a generous commission.

Alternatively, the corporate policies updated in September of 2019 and I may now carry up to $500 worth of retail products on my shelves for “cash and carry” - yet there are no minimum requirements, no recurring orders!

IT IS A DREAM.

These days I have estheticians all over the country asking me for my facial protocols and looking for mentorship. I make YouTube videos about how much this leap had changed my business and changed my life.

And to think, I wasn't going to offer facials.

If you or someone you know could use a shift toward alignment with BIGGER POTENTIAL, world famous professional cosmetics previously unavailable to the general public or THE BEST way to start a facial skin care business, let's connect.

Practical Steps to becoming a Solo Esthetician

So you’re thinking of becoming a Solo Esthetician - join my mentoring group “The Empathetic Esthetician” on facebook, no matter where you are in your journey.

Establishing your own business can be quite the undertaking - but I find that it is so rewarding!

If you’d like to hear me speak about my experiences, I have a few YouTube videos where I talk a lot about my journey and the steps I took to get there.

“How I became a Solo Esthetician And Opened my Own Esthetics Studio”

& “Practical Steps to Opening your own Solo Esthetician Studio”

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But darlings here is a written list, because LAWD knows I need to read things and have a list to go off of, or else I will forget EVERYTHING.

And YES there are affiliate links!

Practical steps that I took to start my own Solo Esthetician business!

• Established an LLC (Limited Liability Corporation) - This helps to separate your personal assets from business.

• Registered a Tax ID/EIN

• Established financing with a bank

• Applied for an Establishment License, and scheduled/waited for the inspection

• Insurance (Business Liability, Professional Liability, General Liability, Renter’s Insurance)

• Booking Software! (Vagaro!)

• Accounting Software (Quickbooks!)

• Job Supplies (Wax, sticks, trash bags, alcohol, EPA Registered disinfectant, oil, gloves, etc)

• Products to use &/or Retail (LimeLife by Alcone)

• Furniture (Esthetics table, linen cabinet, trash can, comfy seat, stool, fan, shelves, lamps)

• Technology (Bluetooth speakers, ring light, LED therapy, facial machines)

• Decor (sheets, blankets, artwork, pillows, rugs, candles)

“Soft” Assets

• A strong sense of self - also known as Personal Branding (logo, colors, etc) take my BRAND YOUR VIBE course!

• Email address, website, phone number (I used godaddy.com services to have a separate phone number that allows me to screen calls)

• Social Media Accounts (Facebook, Instagram, TikTok)

• Network (Your connections!)

A 6-module course you can take on your own time, to nail your secret sauce and work smarter, not harder on social media!

Handy Skills

• Decision to make it work!

• Resilience for when things don’t go according to plan

• Customer service skills

• Networking Skills

• Confidence in yourself (Here’s my number one piece of advice!)

• Abundance Mindset

• Photography Skills

• Strong social media presence - Here’s a Digital Marketing Guide I created!

If you found this helpful and you’d love to hear more from me, I have a mentorship group on Facebook called “The Empathetic Esthetician” and I’d love to have you a part of the community!

I am always excited to hear your questions and learn about what YOU want to learn! I am a real person, promise! And I am on a mission to help our industry rise together.

Photo by Sasha Brown Photography