Stop Shaming your clients into waxing services

I’m so fired up about this topic. It will probably ruffle some feathers.

Stop shaming your clients into receiving waxing services.

Stop using shame as a marketing technique. It is so low-vibe.

Brene Brown says

“Shame is the intensely painful feeling or experience of believing we are flawed and therefore unworthy of acceptance and belonging.”

So many memes or waxing advertisements are floating around the internet where people imply that body hair means you are unworthy of a relationship, physical (sexual) contact, or that you are unclean and therefore undesirable.

“Don’t be a wookie, wax your cookie!”

“I love how prickly your legs feel!” - Said no one ever!

“Fact: Body Hair won’t keep you warm - Book your wax today!”

  • This is bullshit.

    I have had clients come in and apologize for their leg hair - before a waxing service - I had to reassure her that she was only responding to a ridiculous society norm and I was not bothered in the least by her hair, I was just honored that she came to me for her service to do whatever she pleased with her hair.

So frequently body hair is seen as a flaw when in fact it is a sign of health and vitality of the body. And don’t even try to play the “unhygienic” card - hair can help protect the skin by wicking away moisture and reducing the growth of bacteria, candida and other skin irritants.

Plus, impossible beauty norms contribute to anxiety, depression and a whole lot of self-loathing, and I for sure will not be perpetuating that nonsense in my advertising.

Let’s not forget, fellow esthis, that in order to be waxed we must have a period of hair growth where sometimes there are sensations of “prickliness” or things that are less than the hairless, feminine ideal. As they wait until their next appointment, they think of you and your words of negativity around body hair - awesome, they just had their heart sink to their stomach because in order to wax they must endure shame.

Yeah I’m not about that life.

And you know brow waxing isn’t free of shaming either - all of this talk about making “brow contact” before eye contact or “I’m not listening I’m just doing your brows in my head” is sharing with your network, your client base, that instead of peering into the windows of their soul or actually listening to things that matter to them, you are instead intricately judging the follicles that grow from their forehead.

I have actually had people walk up to me and shield their eyebrows from my view because they thought I would judge them while talking because of something else another brow artist had shared. It was a sad moment.

I’m not saying that waxing services in and of themselves are bad, especially with a mindset of Empathy, since there are plenty of reasons why someone would want to get waxed!

  • Comfort (I don’t like it when my leg hair tickles me from blowing in the wind)

  • Style (It’s a preference!)

  • Vacation prep and their chosen style

  • You can swim faster (or so they say) with less hair

  • Someone might have an affinity for hairless cats so they want to be hairless, too.

My darlings, talk about the benefits of the service without bringing shame into the picture, please!

I know that I provide and profit from a service in society and industry that makes millions off of people’s insecurities, but I will not play to that energy.

I pray that every one of my clients comes to me because I will help them express their deepest love and happiness for their bodies and themselves in whatever way they see fit - and I am not to judge or to cause shame in order to get them in my door. No thank you.

I shall use messages of visual joy, love and celebration when sharing my services. And I implore you to do the same.

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Empathetic Beauty Unfolding

Empathetic Beauty isn’t new, and it isn’t “mine.”

I am a witness to it’s unfolding, I am here to celebrate it and breathe life into this movement - my intentions are to highlight the beautiful love and share techniques that will allow it to flourish.

Empathetic Beauty is meeting someone where they are, loving them there, and helping them get to where they want to go - particularly in the beauty industry.

Here are some day-to-day examples of Empathetic Beauty in action:

Empathetic Beauty is a thorough consultation where you know the history of their skin, the products that they use at home, listen to their skin goals and their budget, understand their concerns and their desires - and the professional delivers a beautiful service, exceeding the expectations. Many of us do this already, Brava!

Empathetic Beauty is a makeup trial where the Bride knows that she wants to wear professional makeup but is afraid of looking too unlike herself - so her makeup artist delivers a light and airy look that enhances her natural features without feeling like she needs to impress other makeup artists on instagram with a cut-crease - and both the bridal client is delighted for having her wishes met and the artist is delighted that she delivered exactly what her client wanted, because that is her main goal.

Empathetic Beauty is the hair stylist that still gives waterfall bangs to Leslie, her client of 20 years - because even after Les'lie’s husband died, she can’t bear to change too much else about her life just yet - and her stylist knows that when Leslie looks in the mirror she will find comfort in her reflection, even if the stylist won’t be posting any before or afters on her facebook feed.

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The Empathetic Beauty professional is attentive, kind, artistic, and aware of the impact they have in each and every piece of their service. The focus of integrity is on the relationship with the client and not as much on the clout of the professional within the beauty industry, or needing applause from peers.

Do you feel like you are an Empathetic Beauty Professional? I’d love to hear your thoughts on this subject - I am especially interested in hearing your experiences and the ways in which you live-out Empathetic Beauty in your professional practice.

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